Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Rob and Kristen- Birthday Wishes and Kisses

K-I-S-S-I-N-G

So there you go.
More grainy shitty pictures taken from who knows
how far away... in the dark.
Just to show Rob on a motorbike of some kind...
And
This Kiss.

Of course these pictures have been analyzed to fucking death.
And by the foaming haters more than anyone.
Oh yes.
More.Than.Anyone.

The fact of the matter is...
Foamers were all about EXIT STRATEGY this weekend...
Rob wasn't going to show up.
They were both sick of the 'PR' they have been
forced to live with for the past 3 years...
Rob and Kristen were fighting and sick of each other.
Well.
Well.
Well.

Oh Look... Rob and Kristen. Together.
According to the 'source' where the pictures came from...
They were shown being affectionate 
and even sharing a kiss or two...

Sure...
I carry my salt shaker with me at ALL times...
Because you can't really decipher much from a few frames.
People were like...
"He's not even with her more than 3 pictures!"
Um... really?
Like you saw what happened all night long?
Yeah.. in the 10 pics that were out there...
The scant MINUTES that those pictures represent
Most of them were Rob on some tiny little minibike thing.
Whose to say what happened the rest of the night
that there were NO pictures taken?
And of course...
There was talk about the cast giving Kristen the bike...
(sounds odd... but whatever)
And right away...
"It must be true wuv if Rob gave Kristen a motorcycle"
Again.
HELLO?
ANYBODY HOME?
Whose to say what Robert privately gave to Kristen for her birthday?
I'm pretty sure that was probably between him and her...
and I'm guessing that there were no pap cameras taking pics.

Look at the pictures again
(and try not to get a headache)

1. You can't tell how much time Rob and Kristen spent
together based on a few pictures.
2. You can't know what Robert gave Kristen for her birthday.
3. You can know that yes... Dakota WAS there for her friends birthday.
(and oh that burned some foam)
4. You can see that Rob and Kristen did spend that night together.
(and we wont even go into after the party...)
5. You can see Robert put his face very close to Kristen's...
And while some people want to say...
"It's probably loud and he was trying to hear what she was saying"
or
"Great PR for BD! Taylor/Lilly AND Rob/Kristen!
Way to go, Summit!"
or
"Of course Rob/Kristen were around 30 other people
HOW ROMANTIC"

Yes... they really said all of that.
Rob and Kristen do have a habit of major lip reading when 
they are caught up close... and personal.
Come closer... Whisper into my lips...
I can't hear you...
Put your lips on mine.

PR.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

And there were other people at the party??
No fucking way.
At a party of all things?
What kind of party has PEOPLE at it?
WTF were Rob and Kristen thinking?

FOAM ALERT! MAJOR CLEANUP NEEDED!

Yes Folks.
Major Foamage.
BIG time foamalific splendor.
Foam
Foam
Everywhere's Foam.

Rob and Kristen spent her birthday together again.
Awwww shucks.
I guess you always have tomorrow for your
EXIT STRATEGY
Or the next day...
Or the next.

I'm sure as long as Rob and Kristen continue
to show up TOGETHER.
(Funny how I didnt see a picture of Robert putting his face
close to anyone else to hear THEM)
There will be conspiracy theories...
and exit strategies...
and PR PR PR.
or
If you just want to make it easier to remember?
EXCUSES.
Rationalizations to explain...
WHY OH GOD WHY
Rob and Kristen continue to be together
Up close.
Personal.
Time and time again.

Does it get any better? Absolutely not.
WATER FOR ELEPHANTS.

I can't emphasize how much I want this movie to fucking
blow everything out of the theater.
How much I want Robert to be known as something other
than that 'vampire guy from the Twilight movies'
Because this movie can do this for him.
This movie WILL do this for him.
Robert is capable of holding his own with Oscar winners.
Robert is capable of being a huge box office draw...
Without the name Edward.

This next week is going to be SO much fun.
All the Robert.
All the time.
And we all know there is no such thing as
Too Much Robert Pattinson.

And that brings us to the premiere(s)

Hey Kris... Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you...
Yes.
All the WFE premieres.

April 17- WFE NYC Premiere
     Aprl 27 - WFE Premiere in Berlin
    April 28 - WFE Premiere in Paris
        May 3 - WFE UK Premiere in London
  May 6 - WFE Premiere in Sydney

The question I get asked SO much...
Is will Kristen be there?
Who knows.
Obviously I don't have access to her date planner.
(or DO I?)
I've been skeptical about her going to NYC
And thats mainly because its THE premiere... you know?
And if I had to wager a guess...
I would think Kristen is torn between wanting to go
and be with her guy and support him and his career...
Or
Staying out of sight so the focus of the night can be
all about WFE and Robert
and not the whole "Robsten" fuckery
and all the baggage that goes along with it.

Thing is?
Kristen is damned if she does.
Damned if she doesn't.
IF she goes
She will be criticized for taking attention away from Rob
and clinging to his coattails to try and stay relevant.
IF she doesn't go
It will be because Rob didn't want her there
and they are 'on a break' or some lame shit.

She can't win for losing.
I say...
She should just follow her heart
and do what She and Robert want.
Fuck the rest.

I still see London as a real possibility.
Big time.
It just makes sense to me.
Australia might be off because of time constraints.
But hell...
Paris is just a hop, skip and a jump from London.
Not a big deal.
So.
I guess we shall see.
Maybe.
If we are lucky to get a glimpse.
Maybe.
Because I'm thinking that's the last thing she would want.
And no one is better at NOT being seen than Kristen.
(Seriously, When was the last time we saw her before the birthday pics?
The chick has mad Ninja skills. Admit it.)

What do you suppose Tom is thinking here?

OK.
If I EVER was lucky enough to come across
Robert and Thomas in this kind of setting...
I sure as HELL would want Tom in my pic too.
Like.
Seriously?
ROB/ROSE/TOM sandwich?
Um.
Can you say fuckably awesome?
Like.
Fucking Dream Coming True?
Yeah. Right.
I would just have a pic taken with Rob
and leave that fuckably adorably Tom sitting on the step.
Like.
NO.
(OK, the 'Like' was to be obnoxious... did it work?)

Tom Sturridge.
Just fuckably because.


This post is brought to you by the letter *F*

F for FUCKABLY adorable.

F for Are you fucking KIDDING me with
your bullshit drama?

F for Lay off the fucking private pics.
Don't you have ANY fucking boundaries at all?

Bye for now.
♥♥♥

Excuse my profuse profanity.
Sometimes its just a fuck kinda day.

On one bright note...
Welcome Madalynn Marie!
Life really is good.

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