You can’t have it both ways—
either you want people to ignore your birthday
or you don’t.
One or the other.
Edward Cullen, New Moon, Chapter 2, p.45
This quote is for my sister/friend...
Trixie.
Happy Birthday!
LoveYouForeverAndEver.net
I've been trying to makes sense of my feelings.
Why do these pictures of Rob
make me hurt?
If you think about it...
It's really fucking silly.
But there are so many pictures...
It's endless...
and he looks incredibly gorgeous
BEYOND beautiful
in every one.
But you know what?
I want it to stop.
I really do.
Because looking at these pics...
and watching the videos
(oh yes... watching him MOVE!)
makes me ache.
I don't fucking NEED to be tortured...
Ya know?
I don't need to be reminded constantly...
of what I don't have in my life.
Because, let's face it...
I fucking want Robert Pattinson.
And to come to terms with the fact
that I truly am in love
with this man...
This 23 year old actor...
is very daunting
almost incomprehensible.
And let's get real...
it's fucking confusing.
Do you know how many people in my 'real' life
I shared the autographs with?
ZERO.
Big Fat Fucking Zero.
Why is that?
Because not one person
would fucking understand.
NOT ONE.
I can almost hear the disdain...
The total disbelief...
The "why in the hell would you want his autograph"
coming from their lips.
They wouldn't get it.
They would question me...
They would question my sanity.
And honestly...
who needs it?
Hell...
I question my sanity on a daily basis...
Do I really need someone else
to do it for me?
So.
Rob... Please.
Get the hell outta Cannes.
Please.
I'm hanging on by a thread here.
And not a strong, thick thread...
We are talking thin.
Barely there kinda thread.
Virtually non-existent.
Don't break it.
It's all I have to hold on to.
I'm never letting go.
Bye for now ♥
